I'm self-publishing Tempest
Makers this year. I have a date in my head, but it's not set in stone until
I can officially sort out the cover design, formatting, marketing, and finish
with final editing.
But the point is I will self-publish a story by the end
of the year.
When I realized I'd publish soon, the first emotion I felt
was joy, followed by nausea, then relief (not relief from throwing up, because
I didn't). The sense of knowing I'm so close to transferring my energy from
this story to the next is invigorating.
It's said when you publish the first story, the rest fall
out of your head and onto paper.
Yeah. I get that now.
DUH, I'm a little nervous, but I'm happy/surprised I'm
taking this all so well. I'm pretty sure it's because I have a great source of
writers who've successfully self-published and are happy to help me.
My choice to self-publish came after a lot of thought, but
the reason most important to me was that I wanted to see if I could do it. I
dated a guy several years ago, and he said he thought I was brilliant because instead
of not knowing the answer to a question and going on with life not finding out
the answer, I look for the answer. I was flattered because, 1, this guy was not
one to freely give out ego boosters like that, and 2, I care about the Answer,
whatever it is. I'm curious about it. I'd like to know________. When I know,
I'll either look more into it, or tuck it away in the Random Crap File and
maybe bring it up at a party, Gathering, or interview (Not as unprofessional as
you may think.).
I guess I don't see a reason in slowing down my momentum or deciding
now is a good time to put on rose-tinted glasses.
I understand being tired, and falling out of love with your
writing, and getting into fights with it, and having an ugly cry because it
hates you because you've read and/or edited the same line that feels like a
zillion times, and you 2 take a break to "see other people," to come
back and fall in love all over again.
If I do decide to publish with a House, I'll know what I'm
doing. I'll understand the "guts" of promotion and working with
others as a writer with an editor's perspective and if there is an issue with or
question about promotions, formatting, cover design, etc., I'll be able to
verbalize my needs in an intelligent way.
Is what I'm doing nuts? …Relative to what?
Is what I'm doing easy? Things are easier when you're
prepared to be flexible. We didn't go to the moon because it was easy, and look
at how much we know now. Look at how much is possible.
One of the most important reasons to publish at all was
brought on by the catalyst of rage. Pure, bright, white, molten hot light of
Rage. I'm not going to go into the origin story for the Rage. I'm focusing on
what I did with it. To be fair and honest, I'm human (shocked, I know), and it
took about 2 days to process the situation to where I was able to focus, but I
knew in the early stages of the rage I needed—it was imperative—that I channel it
in a positive way. My awareness was raised enough to know, the rage wasn't
going to go away and I needed to do something with it. I reasoned with myself.
I told myself, if I physically act on this rage, I'll end up arrested or dead.
I had stories to publish, so getting arrested or dying would mess that up all
to hell. Eventually, I calmed down, tweaked a scene, and it was a defining
moment that added the right amount of conflict to Tempest Makers. The story went from "bubblegum" to
"Yes. Yes, I just went there," especially compared to the next 2
stories where, now that I think about it, I'm going to have to make sure
lighter scenes are added because of what has
to be in those stories to allow for flow.
One foot in front of the other.
